gh-jackreis-neurodivergent-visual-org-neurodivergent-visual-org/skills/neurodivergent-visual-org/references/habit-building.md

---
created: 2025-11-02T21:50
updated: 2025-11-02T21:51
---
# Habit & Routine Building

## Overview

Habit and routine patterns help build sustainable systems through small, stackable actions and momentum-based progression. Designed for ADHD brains that struggle with consistency.

## When to Use

- User wants to build a new habit
- User mentions struggling with morning/evening routines
- User asks "how do I make myself do X?"
- User has failed at habit-building before
- User needs accountability or tracking systems
- User mentions "I can never stick with things"

## Pattern: Tiny Habit Builder

Use when user wants to start a new habit but struggles with consistency.

```mermaid
flowchart TD
    Start[Want to build a habit] --> Big{What's the<br/>ideal version?}
    
    Big --> Example1[Example:<br/>'Exercise 1 hour daily']
    Big --> Example2[Example:<br/>'Meditate 20 min']
    Big --> Example3[Example:<br/>'Write 1000 words']
    
    Example1 --> Shrink[Shrink it to<br/>absurdly tiny]
    Example2 --> Shrink
    Example3 --> Shrink
    
    Shrink --> Tiny1['Put on workout clothes'<br/>2 minutes]
    Shrink --> Tiny2['Sit on meditation cushion'<br/>30 seconds]
    Shrink --> Tiny3['Open writing doc'<br/>1 minute]
    
    Tiny1 --> Anchor[Attach to existing habit]
    Tiny2 --> Anchor
    Tiny3 --> Anchor
    
    Anchor --> Stack[Habit Stack formula:<br/>'After I [existing habit],<br/>I will [tiny new habit]']
    
    Stack --> Examples[Examples:<br/>After I pour coffee,<br/>I will put on workout clothes<br/><br/>After I brush teeth,<br/>I will sit on cushion<br/><br/>After I open laptop,<br/>I will open writing doc]
    
    Examples --> Do[Do ONLY the tiny version<br/>for 1 week]
    
    Do --> Check{Doing it consistently?}
    
    Check -->|No| Smaller[Make it even smaller<br/>OR pick different anchor<br/>OR wrong habit for now]
    Check -->|Yes| Celebrate1[Week 1 success!<br/>You proved you can do it]
    
    Celebrate1 --> Grow{Want to expand?}
    
    Grow -->|Not yet| Stay[Keep doing tiny version<br/>Consistency > size]
    Grow -->|Yes| Add[Add 1 more minute/rep<br/>Just ONE]
    
    Add --> Week2[Do new version<br/>for 1 week]
    Week2 --> Check
    
    style Start fill:#e1f5ff
    style Shrink fill:#fff3cd
    style Celebrate1 fill:#d4f1d4
    style Stay fill:#d4f1d4
```

**Why tiny works:**
- Removes activation energy barrier
- Success builds motivation
- Proves to brain you CAN do it
- Easy to restart if you miss a day
- Expands naturally when ready

**Common mistake:** Starting too big and giving up. Start SO small it feels silly.

## Pattern: Morning Routine Sequence

Use when user wants to build a sustainable morning routine.

```mermaid
flowchart LR
    subgraph Phase1[" Week 1-2: Foundation Only"]
        P1A[Wake up<br/>+<br/>Get out of bed<br/>1 min]
        P1B[Drink water<br/>1 min]
        P1C[Open curtains<br/>30 sec]
    end
    
    subgraph Phase2[" Week 3-4: Add One Thing"]
        P2A[Foundation routine]
        P2B[+<br/>NEW: Quick stretch<br/>OR wash face<br/>OR make bed<br/>2 min]
    end
    
    subgraph Phase3[" Week 5-6: Add Another"]
        P3A[Phase 2 routine]
        P3B[+<br/>NEW: Eat something<br/>OR 5-min movement<br/>OR plan day<br/>5 min]
    end
    
    subgraph Phase4[" Week 7+: Maintenance"]
        P4A[Keep what works<br/>Drop what doesn't<br/>Adjust as needed]
    end
    
    Start[Start here] --> Phase1
    Phase1 --> Phase2
    Phase2 --> Phase3
    Phase3 --> Phase4
    
    Note[Takes 6+ weeks to build<br/>a routine that sticks.<br/>That's NORMAL.] -.-> Phase1
    
    style Phase1 fill:#e1f5ff
    style Phase2 fill:#fff3cd
    style Phase3 fill:#fef3c7
    style Phase4 fill:#d4f1d4
```

**Key principles:**
- Start with bare minimum (phase 1)
- Add ONE thing at a time
- Wait 1-2 weeks before adding more
- No guilt about keeping it simple
- Your routine ≠ productivity influencer routines

**If you miss a day:** Just do phase 1 foundation. Always have a "minimum viable routine."

## Pattern: Habit Stacking Map

Use when user has several habits they want to build and needs to see how they connect.

```mermaid
flowchart TD
    Anchor1[Morning anchor:<br/>Alarm goes off] --> H1[Put feet on floor<br/>30 sec]
    
    H1 --> H2[Drink water<br/>on nightstand<br/>1 min]
    
    H2 --> H3[Go to bathroom<br/>existing routine]
    
    H3 --> H4[Weigh self IF tracking<br/>30 sec]
    
    H4 --> Anchor2[Kitchen anchor:<br/>Start coffee]
    
    Anchor2 --> H5[Take vitamins<br/>while coffee brews<br/>1 min]
    
    H5 --> H6[Sit with coffee] --> Branch{Energy check}
    
    Branch -->|High| Active[Put on workout clothes<br/>Move body<br/>15-30 min]
    Branch -->|Low| Gentle[Sit outside<br/>OR stretch<br/>OR just coffee<br/>5-10 min]
    
    Active --> Anchor3[After movement:<br/>Shower]
    Gentle --> Anchor3
    
    Anchor3 --> H7[Get dressed<br/>existing routine]
    
    H7 --> Done[Ready to start day<br/>Total routine:<br/>20-45 min depending<br/>on energy]
    
    style Anchor1 fill:#fef3c7
    style Anchor2 fill:#fef3c7
    style Anchor3 fill:#fef3c7
    style Done fill:#d4f1d4
```

**Using existing anchors:**
- Alarm, coffee, bathroom = reliable anchors
- Stack new habits onto existing ones
- Chain creates automatic sequence
- Energy check = flexible adaptation

## Pattern: Momentum Tracker

Use when user needs visual progress tracking to stay motivated.

```mermaid
flowchart LR
    subgraph Week1[" Week 1"]
        W1D1[✅ Mon]
        W1D2[✅ Tue]
        W1D3[✅ Wed]
        W1D4[❌ Thu]
        W1D5[✅ Fri]
        W1D6[✅ Sat]
        W1D7[✅ Sun]
    end
    
    subgraph Week2[" Week 2"]
        W2D1[✅ Mon]
        W2D2[✅ Tue]
        W2D3[✅ Wed]
        W2D4[✅ Thu]
        W2D5[✅ Fri]
        W2D6[❌ Sat]
        W2D7[✅ Sun]
    end
    
    subgraph Stats[" Progress"]
        Total[14 days attempted<br/>12 days completed<br/>86% success rate<br/>⭐ Amazing!]
    end
    
    Week1 --> Week2 --> Stats
    
    Note1[Missing 1-2 days per week<br/>is NORMAL and GOOD.<br/>You're being human.] -.-> Week1
    
    style W1D1 fill:#d4f1d4
    style W1D2 fill:#d4f1d4
    style W1D3 fill:#d4f1d4
    style W1D4 fill:#fecaca
    style W1D5 fill:#d4f1d4
    style W1D6 fill:#d4f1d4
    style W1D7 fill:#d4f1d4
    style W2D1 fill:#d4f1d4
    style W2D2 fill:#d4f1d4
    style W2D3 fill:#d4f1d4
    style W2D4 fill:#d4f1d4
    style W2D5 fill:#d4f1d4
    style W2D6 fill:#fecaca
    style W2D7 fill:#d4f1d4
    style Total fill:#fef3c7
```

**Tracking guidelines:**
- Binary is better (✅ or ❌, no scoring 1-10)
- Weekly view shows patterns
- Missing 1-2 days = still success
- If < 50% for 2 weeks → habit too big, shrink it
- Visual streak = dopamine for ADHD brain

## Pattern: Habit Recovery Protocol

Use when user misses days and needs help restarting without shame.

```mermaid
flowchart TD
    Missed[Missed habit for X days] --> Notice[Notice without judgment<br/>'I missed some days']
    
    Notice --> Why{Why did you miss?}
    
    Why -->|Too hard| Shrink[Make habit smaller<br/>Return to Week 1 version]
    Why -->|Wrong time| Retime[Try different time of day<br/>or different anchor]
    Why -->|Life happened| Normal[That's life.<br/>This is normal.<br/>Not a failure.]
    Why -->|Lost motivation| Check[Check: Do you actually<br/>want this habit?]
    
    Check -->|Not really| Drop[Permission to drop it<br/>Focus on what matters]
    Check -->|Yes| Reconnect[Remember WHY<br/>you wanted this]
    
    Shrink --> Restart[Restart with<br/>tiniest version<br/>ONE TIME]
    Retime --> Restart
    Normal --> Restart
    Reconnect --> Restart
    
    Restart --> Do[Do it once<br/>today]
    
    Do --> Celebrate[You restarted!<br/>That's the win.<br/>Tomorrow is<br/>Day 1 again.]
    
    Drop --> Free[You're free!<br/>Energy for habits<br/>that matter]
    
    style Notice fill:#fff3cd
    style Restart fill:#e1f5ff
    style Celebrate fill:#d4f1d4
    style Free fill:#d4f1d4
```

**Restart = normal part of habit building:**
- Missing days ≠ failure
- Restarting ≠ starting over
- You learned what doesn't work
- Each restart is data
- Permission to quit wrong habits

## Pattern: Evening Wind-Down Sequence

Use when user struggles with sleep routine or evening transition.

```mermaid
flowchart LR
    subgraph Signal[" 1 Hour Before Bed"]
        S1[Set alarm:<br/>'Start winding down'<br/>1 min]
        S2[Dim lights<br/>in main spaces<br/>2 min]
    end
    
    subgraph Transition[" 45 Min Before"]
        T1[Stop screens<br/>OR switch to calm content<br/>No social media]
        T2[Prep tomorrow:<br/>Lay out clothes<br/>Pack bag<br/>5 min]
        T3[Kitchen close:<br/>Clean up<br/>Prep coffee<br/>Set out water<br/>5 min]
    end
    
    subgraph Bedroom[" 30 Min Before"]
        B1[Enter bedroom] 
        B2[Change to sleep clothes<br/>Brush teeth<br/>Wash face<br/>10 min]
        B3[Do ONE calming thing:<br/>Read<br/>Journal<br/>Stretch<br/>Breathe<br/>10 min]
    end
    
    subgraph Sleep[" Lights Out"]
        SL1[In bed<br/>Lights off<br/>No phone<br/>Eyes closed]
    end
    
    Signal --> Transition --> Bedroom --> Sleep
    
    Note[Total: 1 hour<br/>Adjust times for<br/>your schedule] -.-> Signal
    
    style Signal fill:#fef3c7
    style Transition fill:#fed7aa
    style Bedroom fill:#fecaca
    style Sleep fill:#ddd6fe
```

**Why evening routine matters for ADHD:**
- Transitions are hard
- Screens = dopamine = delayed sleep
- Routine = cue to brain it's sleep time
- Morning starts the night before

**Flexibility:** If you miss the 1-hour alarm, start wherever you are. 15-min wind-down > no wind-down.

## Language Guidelines

**Use patience-based, anti-perfection language:**

✅ DO:
- "Start smaller than you think"
- "Consistency over intensity"
- "Missing days is part of the process"
- "You can restart anytime"
- "Your routine is for YOU"
- "Good enough is perfect"
- "What's the tiniest version?"

❌ DON'T:
- "Just stick with it"
- "Don't break the streak"
- "You need discipline"
- "Everyone can do this"
- "You're being lazy"
- "Try harder"

## Habit Science for ADHD

**What works differently:**
- Dopamine-driven motivation (not willpower)
- Need for novelty (routines get boring fast)
- Difficulty with delayed rewards (track daily, not monthly)
- Sensitive to failure (tiny wins > big fails)
- Time blindness (external cues essential)
- Executive dysfunction (reduce decisions)

**Design accordingly:**
- Make it SO easy you can't say no
- Add external reminders (alarms, notes, anchors)
- Celebrate tiny wins immediately
- Track visually for dopamine
- Build in flexibility
- Question "should" habits regularly