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+---
+created: 2025-11-02T21:50
+updated: 2025-11-02T21:51
+---
+# Accountability & Support Planning
+
+## Overview
+
+Accountability patterns help create external support systems that work WITH neurodivergent brains. Includes body doubling, check-ins, and knowing when/how to reach out.
+
+## When to Use
+
+- User mentions working alone feels impossible
+- User asks about accountability partners or body doubling
+- User struggles to start tasks without external pressure
+- User mentions isolation or needing company
+- User asks "how do I stay accountable?"
+- User needs help knowing when to ask for support
+
+## Pattern: Body Doubling Session Plan
+
+Use when user wants to try body doubling (working alongside someone).
+
+```mermaid
+flowchart TD
+    Start[Want to try body doubling?] --> Why[Why it works:<br/>Presence = external regulation<br/>Mirror neurons = motivation<br/>Parallel play for adults]
+    
+    Why --> Find{Find a body double}
+    
+    Find -->|Friend/partner| Personal[In person OR video call<br/>They work on their thing<br/>You work on yours]
+    Find -->|Online community| Virtual[Body doubling apps:<br/>Focusmate<br/>Flow Club<br/>Caveday<br/>Study streams]
+    Find -->|No one available| Self[Self-doubling:<br/>Work in cafe<br/>Library<br/>Public space]
+    
+    Personal --> Setup[Setup the session]
+    Virtual --> Setup
+    Self --> Setup
+    
+    Setup --> Rules[Session rules:<br/>5 min: Check in<br/>Share what you're working on<br/>45-50 min: Work silently<br/>5 min: Check out<br/>Share what you did]
+    
+    Rules --> During[During session:<br/>• No chatting during work time<br/>• Camera on if virtual<br/>• Minimal interaction<br/>• Parallel presence only]
+    
+    During --> Works{Does it help?}
+    
+    Works -->|Yes| Regular[Schedule regular sessions<br/>Works best with consistency]
+    Works -->|Not sure| Try[Try 3 sessions<br/>before deciding]
+    Works -->|No| Other[Try other support:<br/>Time-boxing<br/>Accountability check-ins<br/>Working in public]
+    
+    Regular --> Tips[Tips for success:<br/>• Same time helps<br/>• Match energy levels<br/>• Okay to do different tasks<br/>• End on time]
+    
+    style Start fill:#e1f5ff
+    style Why fill:#fff3cd
+    style Tips fill:#d4f1d4
+```
+
+**What body doubling is NOT:**
+- Not collaboration (you work separately)
+- Not socializing (minimal talking)
+- Not teaching/helping (just presence)
+- Not pressure (gentle accountability)
+
+**What it IS:**
+- Parallel work
+- Borrowed motivation
+- External regulation
+- Warm companionship
+
+## Pattern: Accountability Check-In Schedule
+
+Use when user wants regular check-ins but not constant body doubling.
+
+```mermaid
+flowchart LR
+    subgraph Monday[" Monday Morning"]
+        M1[Plan week<br/>10 min]
+        M2[Share plan with<br/>accountability partner<br/>5 min]
+    end
+    
+    subgraph Daily[" Each Day"]
+        D1[Morning:<br/>What's the ONE thing<br/>for today?<br/>Text or post<br/>2 min]
+        D2[Evening:<br/>Did you do it?<br/>What got in the way?<br/>Text or post<br/>2 min]
+    end
+    
+    subgraph Friday[" Friday Evening"]
+        F1[Weekly review:<br/>What worked?<br/>What didn't?<br/>Adjust next week<br/>15 min]
+        F2[Share with partner<br/>Or journal<br/>5 min]
+    end
+    
+    Monday --> Daily --> Daily --> Daily --> Daily --> Friday
+    
+    Partner[Accountability partner<br/>checks your posts<br/>You check theirs<br/>No judgment,<br/>just presence] -.-> Monday
+    
+    style Monday fill:#e1f5ff
+    style Daily fill:#fff3cd
+    style Friday fill:#fef3c7
+```
+
+**Accountability partner guidelines:**
+- NOT a manager or supervisor
+- Someone also working on their goals
+- Reciprocal support
+- Check in on schedule
+- Celebrate wins together
+- No shame about struggles
+
+**Where to find accountability partners:**
+- ADHD online communities
+- Friends with similar goals
+- Coworkers (if appropriate)
+- Paid accountability coaches
+- Group programs
+
+## Pattern: When to Reach Out Decision Tree
+
+Use when user struggles knowing when to ask for help vs. figure it out alone.
+
+```mermaid
+flowchart TD
+    Stuck[Feeling stuck/<br/>struggling] --> Try{Have you tried<br/>solving it yourself?}
+    
+    Try -->|No| Quick[Try for 10-15 min<br/>first]
+    Try -->|Yes| How{How long have<br/>you been stuck?}
+    
+    Quick --> Tried[Tried for 10-15 min]
+    
+    Tried --> How
+    
+    How -->|< 30 min| Wait[Try a different approach<br/>Take a break<br/>Come back to it]
+    How -->|30 min - 2 hours| Check{Is this time-sensitive<br/>OR blocking other work?}
+    How -->|> 2 hours| Reach[Reach out now<br/>You've done your part]
+    
+    Check -->|Yes| Reach
+    Check -->|No| Post[Post in async channel<br/>or scheduled check-in<br/>Continue other work]
+    
+    Reach --> Who[Who to reach out to?]
+    
+    Who --> List[Options:<br/>• Teammate who knows this<br/>• Manager if unsure who<br/>• Online community<br/>• Friend who gets it<br/>• Professional if serious]
+    
+    List --> How2[How to ask:<br/>'I'm stuck on X<br/>I've tried Y and Z<br/>Still not working<br/>Can you help?']
+    
+    How2 --> After[After getting help:<br/>Say thank you<br/>Document solution<br/>Offer help back later]
+    
+    style Stuck fill:#fff3cd
+    style Reach fill:#d4f1d4
+    style After fill:#e1f5ff
+```
+
+**Important mindset shifts:**
+- Asking for help = strength, not weakness
+- 2 hours stuck = too long alone
+- Documenting = helping future you
+- Reciprocal support = healthy
+
+**ADHD-specific note:** "I should figure this out" can trap you for hours. Set a timer when starting.
+
+## Pattern: Support Network Map
+
+Use when user needs to identify their support system.
+
+```mermaid
+flowchart TD
+    You[You] --> Types{Types of support<br/>you need}
+    
+    Types --> Task[Task/Work Support]
+    Types --> Emotional[Emotional Support]
+    Types --> Social[Social Connection]
+    Types --> Practical[Practical Help]
+    
+    Task --> T1[Who can help with:<br/>• Coworking/body doubling<br/>• Technical questions<br/>• Accountability<br/>• Feedback on work]
+    
+    Emotional --> E1[Who can help with:<br/>• Listening when overwhelmed<br/>• Validation<br/>• Encouragement<br/>• Non-judgmental presence]
+    
+    Social --> S1[Who can help with:<br/>• Hanging out<br/>• Shared activities<br/>• Fun without pressure<br/>• Belonging]
+    
+    Practical --> P1[Who can help with:<br/>• Emergency childcare<br/>• Ride if car breaks down<br/>• Advice on life stuff<br/>• Practical problem-solving]
+    
+    T1 --> Map1[Map your people:<br/>Name each person<br/>What they're good for<br/>How to reach them]
+    E1 --> Map1
+    S1 --> Map1
+    P1 --> Map1
+    
+    Map1 --> Gaps{Notice any gaps?}
+    
+    Gaps -->|Big gap| Build[How to build this:<br/>Join communities<br/>Take a class<br/>Reach out to acquaintances<br/>Try new spaces]
+    Gaps -->|Pretty covered| Great[You have a network!<br/>Reach out regularly<br/>Don't wait for crisis]
+    
+    style You fill:#e1f5ff
+    style Map1 fill:#fff3cd
+    style Great fill:#d4f1d4
+```
+
+**Key insight:** No one person = all support types. That's too much pressure. Different people for different needs.
+
+**How to build support:**
+- Start with ONE type of support
+- Online communities count as real support
+- Reciprocal support = sustainable
+- Regular check-ins > crisis-only
+
+## Pattern: Async Accountability System
+
+Use when user can't find real-time accountability but still needs external structure.
+
+```mermaid
+flowchart LR
+    subgraph Setup[" Setup (One Time)"]
+        S1[Choose platform:<br/>Discord<br/>Slack<br/>Notion<br/>Bullet journal<br/>Voice memos]
+        S2[Create daily template:<br/>Today's goal:<br/>Progress updates:<br/>Blockers:<br/>Done for the day:]
+    end
+    
+    subgraph Morning[" Each Morning"]
+        M1[Fill in goal<br/>2 min]
+        M2[Post/write it<br/>1 min]
+    end
+    
+    subgraph Throughout[" Throughout Day"]
+        W1[Update as you work<br/>Optional, not required]
+        W2[If stuck:<br/>Post blocker<br/>Ask for async help]
+    end
+    
+    subgraph Evening[" Each Evening"]
+        E1[Mark what got done<br/>2 min]
+        E2[Note what didn't<br/>No judgment<br/>Just data<br/>1 min]
+        E3[Read own posts<br/>from past week<br/>Notice patterns<br/>3 min]
+    end
+    
+    Setup --> Morning --> Throughout --> Evening
+    
+    Note[The act of writing<br/>creates accountability<br/>even if no one reads it] -.-> Morning
+    
+    style Setup fill:#e1f5ff
+    style Morning fill:#fff3cd
+    style Evening fill:#fef3c7
+```
+
+**Why async works:**
+- No scheduling required
+- Works across time zones
+- Reduces social pressure
+- Creates documentation
+- Private or public (your choice)
+
+**Bonus:** Reading your own history = see progress you'd otherwise forget.
+
+## Pattern: Crisis Support Protocol
+
+Use when user needs to define support plan for bad days/burnout.
+
+```mermaid
+flowchart TD
+    Normal[Normal functioning] --> Watch{Early warning signs}
+    
+    Watch -->|Seeing signs| Yellow[Yellow Alert:<br/>Missing habits<br/>Increased irritability<br/>Avoiding people<br/>Sleep disrupted]
+    
+    Yellow --> Act1[Actions:<br/>• Tell one person<br/>• Clear tomorrow's calendar<br/>• Lower expectations<br/>• Do minimum viable routine<br/>• Rest]
+    
+    Act1 --> Check1{Getting worse?}
+    
+    Check1 -->|No, stabilizing| Back1[Continue yellow actions<br/>Monitor daily]
+    Check1 -->|Yes| Orange[Orange Alert:<br/>Can't work effectively<br/>Feeling overwhelmed<br/>Struggling with basics<br/>Isolation increasing]
+    
+    Orange --> Act2[Actions:<br/>• Reach out to 2-3 people<br/>• Take sick day if needed<br/>• Cancel non-essentials<br/>• Ask for practical help<br/>• See therapist if you have one]
+    
+    Act2 --> Check2{Crisis level?}
+    
+    Check2 -->|No| Back2[Continue orange actions<br/>Check in daily with someone]
+    Check2 -->|Yes| Red[Red Alert:<br/>Thoughts of harm<br/>Can't function<br/>Need immediate help]
+    
+    Red --> Emergency[CALL SOMEONE NOW:<br/>• Therapist<br/>• Crisis hotline: 988<br/>• Trusted person<br/>• Emergency services<br/><br/>This is what they're for]
+    
+    Back1 --> Monitor[Keep monitoring<br/>Slowly resume normal]
+    Back2 --> Monitor
+    
+    style Yellow fill:#fef3c7
+    style Orange fill:#fed7aa
+    style Red fill:#fecaca
+    style Emergency fill:#f87171
+```
+
+**Set up BEFORE crisis:**
+- List your warning signs
+- List your support people + contact info
+- List what helps when struggling
+- Review every 6 months
+
+**Share this plan with:** One trusted person who can check on you.
+
+## Language Guidelines
+
+**Use connection-affirming, shame-reducing language:**
+
+✅ DO:
+- "Asking for help is a skill"
+- "You don't have to do everything alone"
+- "Support is for everyone, not just crisis"
+- "Different people for different needs"
+- "Reciprocal support is healthy"
+- "Connection is as important as productivity"
+
+❌ DON'T:
+- "You should be able to handle this"
+- "Don't be a burden"
+- "You're asking for help too much"
+- "Figure it out yourself"
+- "Stop being needy"
+
+## Building Support Capacity
+
+**For ADHD specifically:**
+- Isolation worsens symptoms
+- External regulation helps executive function
+- Body doubling = borrowed motivation
+- Regular check-ins = external memory
+- Shame prevents asking for help
+
+**Start small:**
+- One accountability partner
+- One body doubling session
+- One support person identified
+- One async check-in system
+- Build from there